I think that we’ve all had that not-so-pleasant funny feeling when someone we don’t know very well invades our personal space. This is definitely a cultural phenomenon. People from the United States typically desire a much larger personal space bubble than individuals from other countries. As a woman in business I am seriously tuned into the implications of people getting too close to me. Personally, I do not like it. Like many people I perceive it to either be a challenge to my authority or an attempt at a come-on. I especially do not like it when people I don’t know really well try to touch me beyond a business only handshake. Once you’re my friend, it’s ok, but if you are a stranger or a coworker, I prefer an airspace bubble around me.
That said, I don’t do the personal space dance. It takes a lot to make me back away when someone invades my personal space. I do my best to be “larger” and take up more room. I’m sure my facial expressions and body language make it clear I’m not happy though. Sometimes I even ask the person to give me more room. I used to back away and the two step that ensued was pretty funny. Take a step away and the personal space invader crowds closer. Repeat.
Ask yourself – are you oblivious to the personal space of others? If you always seem to be bumping into people during your regular daily activities (I’m not talking standing room only subways or buses here!) you probably are. Have you ever run into a sharp elbow after you’ve bumped someone multiple times? Do you think it is perfectly ok to walk up and stand right in front of someone to get a better view of what they were studying? Does it always seem like you are pursuing someone when you are trying to have a conversation with them? Don’t be this person. It isn’t about what you are comfortable with. It is all about reading your partner and understanding what level of closeness they can tolerate with you.
