I live in the conservative bible-belt. My home state rarely votes Democratic – except for Obama in 2008 we typically support the Republican presidential candidate. My vote rarely counts. There are times when I wonder why I even bother to cast my vote. Resistance is futile? I know, I know. I should just move back North to my YANKEE blue state home. F-that. Maybe somehow, someway I can make just a little bit of a difference.

Right now I live in a *very* conservative county. My county is poor – except for the island beaches – and most of the people who own beach property are part-time/second home non-residents. The average county household income is about $44,000 a year (2009). That’s nearly $20,000 a year less than the Raleigh area that I moved from. I won’t tell you what percentage that was of my household’s all time high salary… you just don’t want to know. My county still has an unemployment rate over 10%. Somehow, all this is a recipe for conservative politics. I can not even comprehend why. Why do the poorest states and the poorest counties think that they will be paying for socialist policies? Au contraire. They will be benefiting from them.

Let me tell you why I am a liberal.

I CARE.

I care about the people who have pre-existing medical conditions and who can’t afford medical insurance. I think that no one deserves to be bankrupt by their medical bills.  Yes Santorum, some people squander their health and clearly do not do the right things to maintain it. However, there are a lot of people (like me) who exercise every day, who eat healthy foods and who look like the picture of health who find out that they have developed a serious condition for unknown reasons. Maybe it is stress, maybe it was the environment, maybe it just happened… How can we deny healthcare to people who would benefit significantly from it? Let them die on the curb. I could not do that. Maybe socialized medicine would limit some choices, maybe it would slow things down a tad. Overall it would do society a greater good than allowing the one isolated individual who can afford their healthcare to benefit.

I care about animals – all of them. The gas chamber here kills more dogs and cats than I even want to think about. It is rumored to be more than any county in 3 states. That is so sad. Yes, it is a “liberal” agenda to charge more in dog license fees to register an unspayed or neutered dog. So what? How many of the puppies and kittens of those unfixed animals wind up in the pound and eventually in the gas chamber? I don’t want to know. Let’s make sure that our companion animals get the life that they deserve. We are all temporary residents on this planet created by who? God? The grand creator? Why should I have so many more rights to a decent life than my cat or your dog? A happy, loving home, a warm bed, a full belly. If we spay and neuter our pets the ones that remain have so much better of a chance to have that. People who treat their animals like property, like a coffee table or a ratty old couch that can just be discarded really disgust me.

I care about the environment. Drill baby drill. Really? Climate change is real. Turn your damn thermostat down, use less water and drive an efficient car and then let’s talk. My thermostat is at 66 during the day (upstairs… downstairs is only at 62) and 55 at night in the winter. In the summer I don’t venture below 78 degrees. We’ve put in dual flush low flow toilets. Now, on the subject of TMI – I don’t always flush. Seriously, does a 1/2 cup of pee need 1.6 gallons of flush? Shame on you – no it definitely DOES NOT. I once heard a quote that resonated with me “If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.” I can understand needing a truck for work, I can not understand driving a Hummer as a status vehicle. My long-haul vehicle gets 32-35 mpg. It’s about twice as good as our pickup which we use for hauling things out of necessity.

I care enough to recycle.  Nothing makes me madder than folks who can’t bother to separate their recycling from their trash. Do you really think that we have an unlimited supply of aluminum for cans? Don’t you realize that it is cheaper to recycle a plastic bottle or a glass one for that matter than to create a new one from raw materials? Speaking of plastic – doesn’t it make you really upset to see sea animals trapped in plastic six pack holders or dead from ingesting pop tops or bottle caps? Yeah, it is just one fish or just one seabird or one otter, but how many do you think we get? I don’t want to be responsible for the next great extinction on this plant. Do you?

I care about people who love each other. Don’t you? They should be able to enjoy a life together with legal protections. Oh, you aren’t a man/woman couple? WHO CARES. If you care enough to hitch your little red wagon to someone else’s life you should be afforded the same benefits. Oh, that is totally disgusting – man on man or woman on woman! UH NO. That really doesn’t matter. I’m happy to stay out of your bedroom, provided you stay out of mine. If the conservative right thinks that they can police the sanctity of marriage they should be looking at making divorce illegal rather than preventing loving couples (of any gender) from sharing their lives. Besides, the gay population would totally get hammered by the marriage penalty…. I do not know a gay or lesbian couple where there is a stay-at-home spouse.  If you can’t wrap your head around the sanctity of marriage thing – consider this – it would raise a LOT more taxes which will help pay for the programs I am advocating.

Ah yes, now the lightning rod. Abortion. I am oh so thankful that I have never have had to make that choice. But I am grateful that it is a choice. I have never wanted children. I know that isn’t the norm. Most women want children, yearn for children, dream for children. Not me. I would be a terrible parent. I am happy that I would have the option for an abortion, though it would be an awful choice to make – and I am not sure that I could even do that. I am glad that a raped co-ed can make that choice. I am happy that an incest victim can make that choice. I am overjoyed that someone who would die bearing a child can make that choice. I am relieved that someone who would be a really terrible parent can make that choice.

I care about immigrants. This country became truly great on the backs of immigrants. My parents were immigrants – legal – but immigrants none-the-less. Why do we educate the cream of the crop of foreigners in our post graduate programs and then send them home when their education visas expire? These people can create businesses and jobs. These people are truly motivated – and they will help our country continue to be a leader in technology and business. Why are we sending them “home” where they will create those businesses in countries that compete with the USA? We should give them green cards. Heck, we should give them citizenship.

I care about people who worship differently.  I have friends who are Christian(evangelical and moderate), Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Agnostic, and Atheist. There’s probably a Buddhist in there too, but I can’t quite recall. I consider all of them to be good people. It’s not a matter of what your religion is, but of how you tread on this planet. Are you kind? Do you strive to connect with people who are different than you are and do you not try to change them? Every faith has been persecuted at some point in history. We need to take a step back and separate the person from the religion.

Ok, that’s all she wrote. Those are a lot of the reasons why I am a liberal. For better of worse I am an optimist. I think that we can make our society better by working together and accepting our differences. I don’t want you to change me, and I won’t try to change you.

Whatever you do – if you can – please keep an open mind. Maybe, just maybe that will make you a liberal just like me.

1. Been diagnosed with a serious medical condition
2. Changed my diet completely
3. Basically quit drinking alcohol
4. Quit my comfortable job amidst 10% unemployment
5. Convinced my husband to quit his job too
6. Gave away/sold a large portion of our possessions
7. Personally moved the rest of our possessions – no moving company, just two able bodied adults carrying heavy furniture and appliances.
8. Sold (well almost, that’s tomorrow) our family home
9. Accepted that a month of homelessness is ok

I’m 45 years old. Most people at my age would be thankful for my old six figure income and my old lifestyle. Heck, in today’s economy there are people who would do unspeakable things to have what I had. What was I thinking?

The weird thing is that I am ok with all of this. I haven’t felt better in years. For once I have a sense of calm about my life. I feel like maybe I should be concerned, but I am not. Over my life I’ve found that worrying about things doesn’t help. Stuff will always work out one way or another. I’ve made stupid mistakes, I’ve been laid off from my job, I’ve been unemployed for a year, I’ve gotten really sick. All of that stuff sucked, but it wasn’t the end of the world. In fact, those occurrences have led to new possibilities and ideas.

Here is to a new set of adventures!

The more I think about this, the more I realize that it’s not so much what I am going to do, but what I am trying to accomplish. Goals and actions are quite different. I’m working toward very high level goals – and the actions that are necessary to achieve those goals are merely a byproduct.

• Spend more time with family and friends – Also known as the “no hermit” rule. Unless I can’t actually do something I plan on accepting every invitation that comes my way.
• Work only with people I respect and trust – Over time, I plan on doing a little consulting for “toy money”. I will only take on assignments with people I genuinely like working with and who I trust.
• Stay healthy and fit – Good whole foods comprised mostly of fruits, veggies, nuts and grains. Exercise – and lots of it. This might not be a structured program anymore, but whatever seems like fun at the time. Hiking, biking, kayaking, volleyball, weight training and so on. The number on the scale doesn’t really matter as long as I feel good.
• Become more aware of the world around me – In other words, continue to learn. This touches everything. I’ve started a list of all of the different varieties of birds that I see in my yard. I’m reading a lot more classic literature. I’m learning more about other people’s political biases that I had previously dismissed.
• Bring creativity and fun to what I do – You can never have too much fun – and every task no matter how mundane can be filled with creativity. Check out this fruit bowl that I made over the weekend. I could have just chopped up some fruit for a party that I was going to, but instead I spent part of my day learning how to make something that would delight the eye.

The thing that I like best about my goals is that even if I do a little bit more than I did in the past, I will consider myself successful. If I pick something like “hike the Appalacian Trail” (which quite frankly I would like to do, but it is just not feasible right now) and I don’t get to it, I’ll feel like a failure. In my work life I always thought that very specific goals were most important because they gave me something to shoot for. In my retired life – it’s just the opposite. The joy is in the journey. I’m picking goals that bring more joy to my life and less “gotta accomplish this” stress. How refreshing!

I’m finally addressing a space in my house that I have been turning a blind eye toward for the last 13.5 years. Yeah, it really has been that long. It is a closet that has developed a life of its own. When we built our house we didn’t put any shelves or clothing rods in it. We wired it with 220 so that “someday” we could put in a sauna. In the meantime it has become the junk collector. Too big to fit elsewhere? Stuff it into the closet. Boxes, suitcases, a monstrous wall hanging bookshelf was even sitting on the floor (sadly, it was filled with books).

This weekend I came to terms that the day when a sauna gets installed sadly will never come. We already have a hot tub, and we don’t use it as much as we could, I can’t imagine sinking money into a sauna too. Besides, we are getting close to pulling the trigger on selling our home and moving to something that requires less maintenance. No point in spending a boatload of money.

I managed to talk my husband into building out the closet from scratch. He did a wonderful job. Once the shelves were in place I took over. All that stuff has a shiny new coat of white paint on it now and the caulking is done. Tomorrow I’ll hopefully be able to paint the walls and then we can move all of his clothes out of the closet we are currently sharing. Wow, we’ll each have a closet of our own. I guess once we do that I should paint “my” closet too – it hasn’t been done for 13 years either and I don’t want something else that I am turning a blind eye toward.

The funny part is that I’ve been ignoring this for years and it has been grating on me. I should have the situation resolved within 4 days of being at home. It didn’t take 4 days – in fact it only took a couple of hours each day (except for Saturday when the emptying, building, and installing occurred). It is amazing how much of my energy was spent elsewhere when I could have fixed the situation with a few well chosen hours of work.

As the rain got heavier, the traffic started to bunch up even though it was still moving close to the speed limit. When we approached a set of underpasses, there were a pair of pickup trucks hiding out from the rain. Inevitable rubber necking ensued. We came to an abrupt stop. By habit, even as a passenger, I watch the road behind me in the side mirror. I saw something quite terrifying – a rapidly approaching 18 wheeler two cars back that wasn’t going to stop in time. I’m very thankful to be typing this story today.

The circumstances surrounding this incident saved our lives – or at the very least, prevented us from being seriously injured.

1. We were stopped after the concrete bridge supports
2. There was a wide left shoulder on the highway
3. The trucker veered the truck instead of just slamming on his brakes

When that truck finally stopped, the cab was well past the front of our car. Depending on your beliefs you might say that we were lucky, or that we had a guardian angel looking out for us, or that it just wasn’t our time.

Most people spend so much of their time worrying about all the things that can go wrong. Most people spend a lot of their time focusing on all of the bad things that are happening in their lives, at the expense of the good things. I’m guilty. On Sunday I got a wake up call. If I’m always focusing on the wrong things in life, I won’t have time to enjoy my life.

Seize the day. If you don’t love what you do – change what you do. It doesn’t matter how much money you earn or how successful you are. You want your life to be as rewarding as possible. You never know what the future might bring. Focus on the present.

I knew going into this that my new manager was pretty hands off. Personally I like it that way. I have had managers that were in my back pocket and quite frankly I find it irritating. Leave me alone, I know what I am doing. I will get done what you need me to do, just make it clear what my priorities are (and if you don’t, I will – so don’t be surprised if I don’t do what you think is the most important thing first). I’ll come to you if I run into problems that I can’t solve by myself. If I don’t ask for help, please stay out of my way. I’ll tell you what you need to know so that you don’t get caught unaware.

I guess what I am trying to say is that even if you have very independent people working for you remember to acknowledge what they are doing. They may not need guidance to get their job done, but an occasional pat on the back to let them know that they are on target is invaluable. Some of the folks that report to me have been working some crazy hours lately. It was pretty obvious based on what was accomplished over the last week. I’m hoping that my couple of words (thank you) meant as much to them as my manager’s meant to me this week.

More than anything else I want to thank my husband, all of my good friends, and my previous coworkers who supported me during the last 11 months of my job search. You kept a roof over my head. You introduced me to hiring companies and helped me get interviews. You convinced me not to sell myself short and to hold out for a position that I really want. You told me to focus on what I am best at. You took me out for a beer and a burger or a nice lunch when I was down (Now I owe YOU lunch/dinner! You know who you are!)

Words just can’t express how thankful I am!

Linda’s back….

1. Blow out the cobwebs – In the garden this means cranking up the gas backpack blower and removing the remaining leaves out from the shrubs (hence the smell of two-stroke). In my personal life it means kicking up my exercise program a notch and getting outside for long walks and runs when the weather is good. At work it typically means clearing out my desk of old projects and responsibilities that are hanging around.
2. Get my hands dirty – In the garden I’ll be pulling the netting off the pond and clearing out the dead plants and other winter debris. In my personal life I’ll be looking at all the little things I’ve been procrastinating about over the winter. At work it means that it is time to pick up a new skill or hone an existing one.
3. Use my imagination – In the garden it’s time for planting the early vegetables and for rearranging the landscape. In my personal life it’s time to plan my next vacation. At work, it’s time to brainstorm new project ideas.

What does Spring make you want to do?

• Leave the person sitting unattended for hours at a time – Nothing says you’re insignificant and we don’t really care that you’re part of our team like this one. If you tell them that you want to meet with them first thing in the morning on their first day – make sure to show up at least an hour late. They can cool their heels in the receptionist area waiting. You know you have more important things to do.
• Ignore the person’s background when you provide training – Just because everyone is different doesn’t mean you need to customize how you bring them up to speed. It’s much easier to just train everyone the same way regardless of what they know. So what if it is frustrating for someone that really knows what they are doing – or is too complicated for someone who has never done the job before.
• Forget them around lunchtime – This one is especially entertaining if the person is new to the area and has no idea where to go to get some food on their first day. Leaving them behind at lunch is a great way to be able to talk about how annoying it is to train the new guy.
• Don’t have their computer systems and accounts setup – This is best for people whose jobs really depend on computer access. Give them some out of date printouts to read while they wait a week (or more) for their computer to show up. Nothing says loving like dry hardcopy in an 8pt font.
• Give them the worst desk and chair in the office – Especially effective if you can find a “trick” chair that has a habit of tipping over or has a bad pneumatic lift mechanism.
• Don’t provide them with a buddy – Buddies get bothered with all of the stupid questions. If you don’t provide one, the new hire will have to figure everything out for themselves.
• Make sure to hit on your new coworker – This doesn’t scream “awkward situation” for a new person trying to learn their way around their new office and among their new coworkers.

Clearly I’m being facetious with my advice, but I’ve had all of these things happen to me at one time or another when I’ve started a new job. Here’s hoping that my next position won’t provide me with a new way to expand my list!

Some argue that the loss in happiness due to unemployment is actually worse than that due to divorce. It can lead to passivity – a lot of television watching – and alcohol consumption. Even in countries like Holland and Sweden, which give the unemployed good financial support, there is still a drop in happiness, health, and mental health. And you don’t get used to it, even after two years; and when you go back to work, there is a scar, some permanent damage to our capacity to enjoy our work.

wow.

I’m not going to deny it, being unemployed is tough. There are days where I have what I call “household ADD”. I find myself wandering from room to room doing little things here and there but not really finishing anything. It is weird, especially for me because I am usually pretty focused. Some days are worse, there are times where I feel more than a little hopeless. But, that’s ok. I wallow in it for an hour or two, and then I get over it.

However, it hasn’t been all bad. I have a great network and a lot of good friends who have done their best to help me in my search, but the economy isn’t really cooperating. That’s not their fault, nor my own. Thankfully my family can live on one salary for an extended period of time. And even more thankfully, my husband is still gainfully employed.

I’ve also done a few things to maintain a schedule and to help provide a daily purpose. I usually do not turn on the TV until after my husband comes home from work. I don’t need it to keep me company – during the day it is just a bunch of mindless junk anyway. Occasionally I’ll watch “Cash Cab” while I’m on the Stairmaster because I find it fun to play along. Every morning I eat a healthy breakfast to start my day. I always workout for about an hour in the morning. There is nothing that lifts my spirits more than a good workout. I have days where I don’t want to do it, but I find that if I drag myself into the exercise room and just “do a little something” that I’ll complete a full workout and feel much better afterwards. I’ve also come to love my local library. Reading is a great way to expand my mind and I’m in the habit of reading about a book a week now. Best of all, it’s FREE! I hope that I can continue this once I start working again.

Having all this extra time has allowed for a lot of reflection as well. There have been times in my life where I’ve been on that hedonic treadmill, pure and simple. I wanted a new car, some nicer clothes, a better house and so on. I’m not a big “shopper” in the usual sense, but when it comes to some of the bigger wants I’ve had them all. I’ve come to realize that they never make me happy – they typically add more stress. New car? Don’t get it dinged in the parking lot! Bigger house – how much are my taxes?!?!! Come to find out I don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy. You know what I felt most grateful for yesterday? Here are the top 3 (and there are many more):

1. Napping on the floor in the sun with a really warm purring black cat
2. Eating eggs benedict and steamed broccoli with hollandaise sauce for dinner
3. Feeling the satisfaction of having a clean house

What is missing here? Everything to do with money, career, and possessions. I’m a driven person. I’m not patient. I’ve been told that I can be too competitive. When I look at my life and who I am, those parts of me aren’t really the highlights. They’ve made me appear successful on the outside. What makes me really successful – and what will make me survive this period in my life – is all about who I am on the inside.