Tag Archives: Balance

Try to Pace Yourself and Other Musings

Seriously, I think that is a lesson that we all can learn. Right now I’m not doing a terribly great job myself. I have an end goal in mind, and it is something that I want to get to before the end of April. That doesn’t allow for much pacing I’m afraid. Actually I have two end goals. 1) Get our house listed for sale. (Spring is the best time!) 2) Get the other property ready for beach rental season. The second one has a slightly longer time frame – that needs to be done by the end of May.

Getting a house ready for sale is a daunting task, it requires peering into every nook and cranny and figuring out how to make it look appealing and not repulsive. That is the reason why I had been focusing on those two damn closets in the master bedroom – they were chaos, pure and simple. Now it looks like two anally retentive people live in our house. My closets never looked so good. While I was waiting for the various coats of paint to dry I’ve cleaned out nearly every other closet in the house and I repainted and “staged” the dining room. It looked ‘ok’ before, but the paint color was a little polarizing so I figured my best bet was to change it to a creamy off-white. Neutral sells, or so they say. I actually really like the way it turned out.

Now I’m onto the master bathroom. I repainted it a year or so ago and replaced a lot of hardware, but at the time I avoided the shower like the plague. Payback time. I’ll be regrouting the shower shortly. Today my mind is addled from inhaling bleach fumes. Who needs to drink alcohol when you can kill just as many brain cells with chlorine gas. Whew! Mold always seems to grow in bad grout work. I’m on a time table here too – the glass enclosure has been torn down and a new one is on order. It is supposed to take 2 weeks and a week is already gone. Tick tock, my time to grout is running out. Once this is done I have to tackle the garage and the kitchen.

By the time I’m done with this little exercise I might not actually want to sell the house anymore, but longer term it is a necessity. Actually, I really don’t want to sell the house. It has been the best house we’ve ever lived in, but it is too big for a retirement pad.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Well, it looks like the overall theme of this blog is about to change – big time. After 25 years of working in high tech I’m done. Finished. April Fool’s Day (appropriate?) was my last day at work, and today was my first day without a job and with no plans to find another one. I’ve waffled between the terms “sabbatical” and “retirement” and frankly, I’m not sure which one of those is most accurate. I’m taking it one day at a time, and I guess I’ll find out eventually. I’m hoping that an extended period in which I don’t have to be anywhere on a regular basis (and where I am not looking for a place to be on regular basis either) will lead to the rejuvenation of my creativity.

I have to admit, this decision was a lot more spur of the moment than I had anticipated it would be. It all started a few weeks ago when I woke up at 4am on a Sunday morning completely dreading going to work on Monday. It wasn’t the team I managed, it wasn’t my project, it wasn’t the company. It just was that I consider myself a entrepreneurial spirit and I found myself in a role in a large company that didn’t fit. In some ways it felt like I was wearing a jacket three sizes too tight. I finally had the ah-ha moment where I realized that this form of stress has continued to impact my health and my ability to recover from all the diagnoses that I’ve received in the last year. I needed a break.

I hope you stick with me and keep reading. The topics will change, but I am sure I’ll continue to apply my management skills to different types of projects. I might even start herding my cats for fun. That can’t be any more difficult than software developers can it?

Take One for the Team

Lately, I’ve been picking up extra work around the house. My husband’s job has some tight deadlines and he’s been MIA. When he is around, I’d prefer to have some fun rather than have him de-thatching the lawn or vacuuming the house. I’m not complaining – I’ve done this myself many, many times in the past. I’ve gone MIA because of work more times than I can count. Most times we are fortunate and both of us aren’t crunching at the same time. Occasionally we are, and we just have to make the best of it. The best partnerships can handle the ebb and flow of energy and it all balances out over time.

Now. How does this apply to work? A lot of times there is resentment and frustration when a team member habitually expects others to pick up their slack. That’s the worst case scenario – and probably is very similar to what happens in a bad relationship.

I’ve been continually impressed with my “new” (ok, not so new anymore) team. Everyone is self directed and very motivated. When someone is out for personal reasons, others just pick up the slack. It isn’t a big deal. Nobody complains, they just work on whatever is the highest priority at the time. It’s great!

I wish I could find the source for the original quote – “you can never be too kind of too fair.” It’s a unique work environment where you see this in action almost every day.

What’s Really Important – Fun

I have some very fond memories of “fun” at work. When it comes to a good environment, it truly is a matter of the little things rather than the grand gestures. Having fun is something that you do on a daily basis, not just once in a while to celebrate a big achievement – though that is important too. I have learned that the folks who work the hardest, also love to play the most.

As a leader you have to at least turn a blind eye toward play, and in most instances it is wise to encourage it. You just cannot expect everyone to sit at their desks for 8+ hours a day without a break, though the worst managers seem to demand this. I definitely remember being growled at by a senior manager a very long time ago when the entire aisle that I worked on was embroiled in a rubber band fight. This was before nerf weapons really became sophisticated. Full scale nerf wars are hilarious and 5 minutes of insanity can help people blow off some steam.

Games are also a good way for folks to have some fun – and they promote a natural gathering place during breaks, lunches, and after work. I’m partial to ping pong tables, but I’ve also seen pool tables, foosball, and video games foster a sense a community in a team.

Keep things fun and people will want to come to work.

What’s Really Important – Balance

Balance defines the amount of time spent working vs the amount of time devoted to personal pursuits. At some points in your life, you have the time, energy, and desire to spend more of time working. At other times in your life you need to spend more effort on your personal life. This could mean raising kids, taking care of parents, or just spending time enjoying hobbies and past times that are in no way related to work.

Balance is different for everyone. With it, you’re pretty comfortable and happy. Without it, you feel like your life is out of control.

Now I am going to go spend some time with a good book!

What is Really Important?

Lately I’ve been reflecting about what is most important to me about work. If I were to run my own company what would I focus on? Here’s my top 10 list, in no particular order.

  1. Transparency – I think by now you all know how I feel about this one. Companies are much better off when leaders share more than rather than less.
  2. Doing Good – I want to make a difference, don’t you? If I had my druthers I would work on technology that improves the quality of life. This might be a medical advance, an alternative energy play, or even something like software that makes managing IT infrastructure easier and reduces manual labor. There are many ways to look at this.
  3. Learning – If I am not learning something new, I am not growing. Earlier in my career I read tech books and volunteered for new projects. These days I read management books, and I like to learn from people I work with. Leading teams working on new technology is also fun for me. Read about my learnings in this post.
  4. Smart People – What I really mean is working with people that are smarter than I am. I like to identify people to hire that are wicked smart – and motivated. Delegating is easy with folks like this! I also learn a lot more too.
  5. Collaboration – I enjoy working in a culture where people collaborate rather than compete. It is no fun if work turns into a proposition where if one person wins the other loses. I’d rather have everyone succeed together.
  6. Respect – Everyone, and I mean everyone on the team deserves respect. One of the best ways to demonstrate it is to really listen to what people are saying. You’ll learn a lot about their opinions and what really motivates them. It’s the best way to understand what is important to each member of the team. Some of my thoughts on respect.
  7. Diversity – For me this isn’t just a buzzword. The best team that I’ve ever led had geographic, ethnic, gender, and perspective diversity. Folks didn’t always agree – but that’s what made the team so powerful.How diversity can help you.
  8. Balance – Work is important, but there are other things in life besides work. I’ve done the 100 hour weeks and I can tell you that it really leaves nothing for your personal life. I’m willing to work hard, but I always make sure to take some time for myself too.
  9. Fun – If a work environment isn’t fun the days drag on forever. A sense of fun and play helps foster camaraderie in the team.
  10. Trust – This cuts both ways. Management needs to trust their team to do their jobs to the best of their ability without micromanaging. This includes the flexibility to work how, when, and wherever the person is most effective. In return, the team needs to trust that management is going to steer the company in a fiscally prudent manner and make appropriate strategic decisions.

The Ethics of Work Life Balance

This Business Week article has an interesting tact regarding work life balance. I had never really considered ethics to be a part of balancing my home life and my career. However, I definitely recognized when the times when I was working significant amounts of overtime hurt other aspects of my life.

An excerpt from the article follows:

It may seem misplaced to discuss work-life balance in a column about ethics. But recall that one of five fundamental ethical principles is fairness, and that we demonstrate fairness in everyday life by how we allocate scarce resources. The most precious commodity you have is time, both in your professional and your personal life. It’s also your most critical nonrenewable resource. As a manager, you must constantly ask yourself how you should allocate your time. You know it’s wrong to spend so much time on one project at the expense of equally critical ones, or to spend so much time managing one employee that you’re unable to manage others.

But a good manager should be, first and foremost, a good human being. Just as managing your career well means allocating your time wisely among the different projects and people you oversee, managing your life wisely means giving due time not just to work but to family, friends, community, self, and spirit. You wouldn’t think of spending most of your work day talking with one client on the phone. Why, then, is it O.K. to devote so much time to your job when you don’t give non-work-related things the attention they deserve?

The author continues by discussing the fact that no matter how much overtime you are working in this economy it won’t protect you from getting laid off. I would have to agree with that assessment. I’ve been a person who has made myself nearly 100% accessible for work. E-mails at all hours, instant messenger at night, conference calls, weekend meetings etc. It helped protect my job in some instances, but not in all of them. I don’t regret the hours that I worked in order to get successful products out the door – I did get a lot of satisfaction out of it. However I do recognize that is time that I’ll never get back.

Surviving the Pressure Cooker

Have you ever worked on a high-stress project where it seems like the entire team becomes ill? Typically a cold or flu runs rampant through the organization. It hops from one key person to another and it seems that nobody is spared. People work until they drop, making others sick. I’ve found that this happens near the end of a long hard push. Everyone is tired. Everyone has been working long hours. It seems to be at its worst when a deadline just isn’t being met no matter how hard the team works. Everyone is disappointed, people feel like they are failing, no matter how audacious or impossible the goal.

I firmly believe that the people affected this way have some key characteristics in common.

  • The first one is that they care. I mean they really care about the success of the project and they will do everything within their power to ensure that success.
  • The second is they don’t have experience with failure. I’ve found that once you’ve looked into the ugly maw of a botched project or a failed company and survive that you realize that no matter how much you want to succeed that sometimes you can’t force that success no matter how hard you try. There are times that these things quite frankly are out of your control.
  • The third is that they don’t take care of themselves first.

I’ve been in situations where I’ve worked 100+ hour weeks. I’ve worked 6 and 7 days a week for long stretches at a time. I’ve spent death march weekends and holidays in the office. I’m not proud of it, it doesn’t reflect well on work-life balance. At the time it was necessary for company survival. When I made sure to spend some time to take care of myself – eat right – exercise – get enough sleep I fared much better. Yes, that meant that a lot of things got dropped in my life. My yard was a wreck, my house didn’t get cleaned, my husband had to pick up all of the slack and his job isn’t a cake walk either.

I’ve learned through personal experience that the third item is key. Well, at least it is for me. I put exercise pretty close to the top priority in my life. It improves my outlook on life, reduces my stress and helps me sleep well at night. These days I work out every day at lunch including weekends. I lift weights twice a week, I do body weight exercises (pushups, chinups, dips, burpees etc) twice a week, I play volleyball for a few hours on Sundays, and I get some sort of interval training/aerobic exercise two to three times every week. Now that the weather is getting nicer I try to walk for an hour now and then, or I do yoga inside instead in the evening.

Most people resort to other tactics to survive long stretches of overtime. They live on caffeine, sugar, and fast food. They stop exercising. They get little sleep. Unfortunately this not only makes one less productive it also makes a person much more likely to get really really sick.

Remember – take care of yourself first. You’re the only you that you’ve got.

The need for a break

I’m back and boy do I have a lot of fodder for my blog.  I spent the last 2 weeks in mainland Ecuador and on a small sailboat cruising the Galapagos Islands.  During this time:

  • I had no access to the internet
  • My cell phone didn’t work
  • Except for a couple of days there was no TV

It was HEAVEN!  There are times when we all have to get away. Far, far, away. I have learned that I need to make myself completely unavailable during my vacations to really disconnect from work. If I can check e-mail, I will. If I can be reached by phone, someone *will* call me. I’ve received ship to shore phone calls when I’ve been on cruise ships. I’ve gotten late night wakeup calls when I’ve been in different timezones. Now, I make sure to avoid the possibility altogether. I try to fall off the face of the earth.

I think that we all know some people who refuse to get away. They just can’t fathom leaving their work behind, not even for an instant. They are worried that that work world will fall apart without them. The fact is that nobody is indispensible. It’s a fantasy to think that work can’t go on without you for a couple of days or weeks. It will. It might not be quite as efficient, but it will.

The other problem with refusing to let work go is that it becomes all consuming. Eventually it will burn you out. Without a break, you lose all ability to have perspective on what really is important in the world. Going out and connecting with people from different cultures who speak different languages and finding out that underneath all of the differences people essentially are the same provides me with the perspective that I need. Everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants to be respected, everyone wants to be heard. Those lessons can be applied to the work world as well.

So how do you get away and not worry about work? Well, first of all you need to be able to designate a backup. If you’re doing a good job of developing your team, this won’t be hard, you should have a few people in your organization that you can trust to take over when you’re gone. Determine who will back you up based on the company needs at the time. Sometimes when work is really going smoothly, you can choose a backup who is junior and  needs to gain confidence. Other times, when things are fast and furious, you need to designate someone who can really take charge, someone that you trust to close the deal, press toward the milestone, or deliver the product.

The next step is to make sure the person you designate is prepared for the job. Give them a good description of what you need them to accomplish. Be very specific. Make sure they have a list of the items to really watch out for that concern you. Ensure that they have someone to turn to for help if they need it.

Get away. You know you need to. Don’t let your life pass you by without taking the time that you need to recharge your batteries, no matter what that entails for you. Nobody at the end of their life wishes that they worked more.

Bad at your job?

Moving from an individual contributor position to one where you are leading a team is a very hard transition. One day you’re worrying about what you need to get done… the next thing you know a whole team of people is depending on you. You’re being pulled every which way. Your staff is looking to you for encouragement and direction.  They are looking for you to empower them to do their jobs – to make sure they have the resources they need to be successful. Your manager is looking to you to drive forward the company objectives. If you also have technical responsibilities you also need to keep up your skills. There isn’t enough time in the day to do all of it. You’re feeling like a failure.

Get over it!  Yes, your heard me. GET OVER IT.

First, you need to recognize that you are never going to be able to maintain the technical edge you had before.  Well, maybe you can – but you’ll have to give up your life. I didn’t think you’d want to do that – do you?  Ok.  you need to learn to fake it. Yes I am serious. Learn how to ask the right questions to make people think about what they need to do.

Second, you need to figure out how to be comfortable making decisions quickly with limited information. This is part intuition and part depending on the expertise of the people who report to you.

Third. You’re doing fine. Please remember that it can take a couple of years before you are really comfortable in your new skin as a leader. Don’t expect to feel successful right away. All you need to do is learn from everything that goes wrong, as well as everything that goes right. Be genuine. Don’t try to be someone that you’re not.  You were put into this position because someone believed in you.  Believe in yourself.